The start of this semester was also the start of my ability to remain tired regardless of the amount of sleep and rest. It was the start of endless amounts of homework and miserably missing a boy. It was the start of a new bible study to teach, new job, new feel. I havent had much time to just sit and think on my own. I am constantly being fed what to think, what to know, what to memorize and what to dream. I would love to simply pick up a book and read for my own pleasure. For character building, for meaning. But I am stuck reading about chemical compounds in biological substances, essays that other people have written that I do not understand and information about health that is halfway common knowledge. I am choosing to study this, therefore, maybe it is my choice to read this material. Either way, I am still not thinking thoughts of my own.
Mason has decided to challenge me in this lately. We had never once argued(more so debated) any subject until it was brought up that I actually enjoy that. So they begin. I can defend what I believe. I enjoy it. He usually has a way to change my thoughts a little, but it is nice to be challenged on information that I think on my own, not information that I am supposed to simply memorize and correctly fill in the bubble on the dredded test day. It is nice to take a stand and be passionate about something, even if I am just making something up to prove him wrong. It is a break from the books and an entrance into the heart of what matters.
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