The Weight of it All.

For the past week I have been halfway dieting, halfway obsessing, halfway eating well, halfway working out, halfway doing it all. I've never really been a girl who worried about her weight. I've dieted a few times, but never something I put much thought in. I am about 5 feet 6 inches. Right now, I weight 143. Thats what the scale said tonight. I successfully put on 10 pounds over the Christmas break. I've always just ate what I wanted, until the day come when the scale made it clear that eating what I want and having little physical activity is going to put me down a road that I do not want to be on. I am realizing that by living with that habbit of selfish eating and laziness, I am by no means honoring my body, which is dishonoring my Creator as well. I want to live a life holy and pleasing to Him, and that includes what I eat and what I do with my body. So with this said, I have set some goals for myself:

• Eat healthy. This does not include chips, maccaroni and cheese and nothing else for dinner, cupcakes, ect.
• Exercise for atleast 3o min a day. Cardio and weights and abs. It's all important.
• Drink more water than diet coke. Lots and lots of water.
• Be self-disciplined. Just say no. It's tempting, but YOU can do it!

Focused Motivation

I wonder why it is so hard to focus on the things that are important in life. I am sitting here attempting to read from my biology textbook. It is heavy. It encases about 1300 pages, all printed on that glossy sort of paper. The light reflects off the white page. It is bright, causing my eyes to strain as I read, making it so much easier to just open this computer and start focusing on things more entertaining, like my blog, or facebook, or Target. I want motivation. I NEED me some motivation. Biology isn't the only thing that I am having a problem focusing on today. The Word of God. Why is it so hard to be motivated to spend time with God? It really makes no sense other than the fact that I am a wicked girl who likes things my own way. I need a change of heart. I need motivation. yep.

Simply Rejoice.

Thursday: leave home, come back to school.
Friday: leave my home at school, go to Conroe.
Friday night: Disciple Now.
Saturday: Disciple Now.
Sunday: leave Conroe, head back to school.
Sunday night: first day of work.
Monday: rest
Tuesday: classes begin.

The past few days have been incredible. I had to opportunity to teach 11th grade girls at a Disciple Now with a girl who has an amazing passion for the Lord. I was humbled so much through this weekend. But now it is back to textbooks, exams, lectures and way too little sleep. I am retaking two classes, which is hard for me to be OK with. Rejoice in the Lord always, right? That's my goal for this semester. Simply rejoice.

My God is SO Big, SO Strong and SO Mighty

Today has been an interesting day. I have been uplifted and broken, excited and saddened, exhaulted and then knocked down. I am not clean nor pure. I am not holy or righteous or even good. I am disgusting. I am broken. I am evil at heart. But I have a God who was and is and will always be perfection. He is the God who has fixed me and cleansed me. He has said that he loves me and that I am his. He created me for himself. Not for a boy, not for a job or a degree, but for his glory and majesty.

I find myself worrying alot. I fear failure. I fear dissapointment. I fear heartbreak. Yet, God says to fear Him. I'm learning that fearing God isn't to be scared of His wrath, but to know that what he commands is truth and disobedience is something that should be feared, for if it is the opposite of truth, it must be false. Francis Chan in Crazy Love talks about worry as saying that our circumstances are more important than God. It makes sense. I'm letting go of me today. Anything I can claim to my name is being let go. I don't want my grades, my time, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my stuff, to be more important than the God who saved my soul and guides me in His perfect truth.