Today has been an interesting day. I have been uplifted and broken, excited and saddened, exhaulted and then knocked down. I am not clean nor pure. I am not holy or righteous or even good. I am disgusting. I am broken. I am evil at heart. But I have a God who was and is and will always be perfection. He is the God who has fixed me and cleansed me. He has said that he loves me and that I am his. He created me for himself. Not for a boy, not for a job or a degree, but for his glory and majesty.
I find myself worrying alot. I fear failure. I fear dissapointment. I fear heartbreak. Yet, God says to fear Him. I'm learning that fearing God isn't to be scared of His wrath, but to know that what he commands is truth and disobedience is something that should be feared, for if it is the opposite of truth, it must be false. Francis Chan in Crazy Love talks about worry as saying that our circumstances are more important than God. It makes sense. I'm letting go of me today. Anything I can claim to my name is being let go. I don't want my grades, my time, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my stuff, to be more important than the God who saved my soul and guides me in His perfect truth.
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